I judge myself as….
Fat.
Behind.
A failure.
Getting things wrong.
Missing the boat.
Too much.
Not enough.
The above is a lil’ sample of my very own diminished ego pu pu platter. It gets served up regularly in my inner world.
The funny thing about my mind… it STILL serves this up, even after all my years of work, processing and healing. The difference, and this is everything… is that I no longer eat it up.
I used to eat those judgments all day. And mostly, unconsciously. I would inhale them, roll around in them, and live my life as if they were 100% true.
That is no way to live. Full stop.
The end of the road, for me, was recognizing two things:
1.) Any judgment that labels you as “less than” or “greater than” is from an imbalanced (and wounded) ego-body. It is so far from the truth of your being. When I really got this, and saw so clearly how “less than” was the way my ego liked to go out of balance, the way my ego thought it was preserving me… done! I forgave myself for not knowing better, for operating from those sufferable lies and judgments. And then I started to do things differently by recognizing #2.
2.) I can choose to believe something different, something higher…. something that liberates and loves. I can choose this day in and day out until that becomes my truth, and eclipses all those less than judgments. Done.
Awareness + forgiveness + love = liberation.
So, yeah… I still hear those old judgments. But I have tools that liberate. I have a recipe for compassion, kindness, and loving up Julie like the exquisite incarnation she is. And, it works.
I want this for you, too.
