Once upon a time (about a decade ago), I thought I was in love with a married man.
I was awake, aware… I was neither asleep nor ignorant.
It was such a struggle for me as I felt an almost inescapable attraction to this person. How could that impulse be misguided? And yet, there was a war going on inside of me.
I took my dilemma to my spiritual practitioner at the time. And you know what she did?
She loved me.
That is all.
In loving me, she allowed me to learn what was there for me to learn.
She did not interfere or judge or condemn… she just loved me and held space for me to find my inner truth and live out this teaching.
In that moment, she was Love Itself. I’m sure her human had opinions galore. But she set all that human-ness aside and just loved me in a way that was unwavering.
Her unconditional love did not remove the lessons, nor did it allow me to by-pass my learning. I had to learn through experience. It was painful and created karma for me to clean up.
There was plenty of shame from my inner critic, but I had that beacon of love, nestled somewhere inside.I want to assure you… there is a part of you that loves, and is loving you right now, no matter what.
You are safe to feel cracked, burned out, broken, depressed, guilty, off-track.
Love Itself is right at the center of your being, loving you infinitely… no matter what.
You can call upon this Love. You can ask for help.
“Love of the Universe, show me how to love this part of me. I’m having a hard time, I need support. I can’t see my way out. I am willing for you to show me how to love this. I am willing to feel love for myself, even now, even here, even with this mud on my human shoes.”
“Divine Mother, I can’t manage to love myself though this. I surrender. I allow you to love me, until I remember how.”
Whatever prayer speaks to you, speak it now.
I love you.